okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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