I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
