just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
