I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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