you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
