Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
