Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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