You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
