Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
