It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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