What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
