It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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