my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
