Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
