Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Pooping to opera.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
