Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
