True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize