I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
