well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
