Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
