We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
