I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
