Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
