So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
