So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
