All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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