White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
smell my finger.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
