I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
