just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
