I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
