her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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