My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize