i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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