i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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