it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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