I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We talked him into tasing himself.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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