Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
