She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
did you just send me my own nude
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
