so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
