Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
