Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
