Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
