I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
