Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
