I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
