Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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