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apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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