My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
