As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
