Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
