i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
