Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
