Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
