When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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