His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
