How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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