he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
