tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
