I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
