I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
please come you make the beer taste better
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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