I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize