Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
