Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
