Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
