He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
