you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
