dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
