I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
