oh god the rape fog is back!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
