i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
