I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
