your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This is the high leading the old right now
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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