you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
