There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
