and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
