Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
