I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
