i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
