I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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