you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
