what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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