just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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