just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize