their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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