When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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