I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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