I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
