If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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